Three are dead. I am number four.
I’m not. But the seeming winnowing down of my social circle lately is making me feel that extinction is lurking in the shadows.
Strangely, that’s not slowing me down. Actually, I feel energized. Sad–sad to the point that I feel like my chest is going to collapse–but not slowed down. I feel like mind–my brain, my heart–have gotten a much-needed “factory reset.” The hour-long commute that irritated the hell out of me a couple weeks ago feels like a gift now. The closeness of the gray morning humidity feels comforting, where it used to disgust me because it’ll ruin my hair.
I’m feeling expansive lately. I feel like the life in me has a new spark–ignited by the passing of other lives around me. Sad that that’s what it takes sometimes, but a gift nonetheless.